Zero sugar? Really?!

Have you ever had to go completely off sugar?  I mean, seriously watch every drop of sugar right down to ketchup and salad dressing? (...which by the way have a lot.)  I'm discovering how difficult that actually is.

About three weeks ago, I decided to visit an LPN nutritionist -- make that natural nutritionist-- to get some help with heavy metal detox.  For those handful of people following my blog, you may remember my past complaints about inflammation and concerns over mercury toxicity due to the abundance of amalgam fillings in my teeth that I am now in the process of having replaced.  For those of you not following my blog, I have included convenient links in case you would like to read about it. (Managing Inflammation, What Dentists Don't Tell You, The Quest for a Healthy Mouth)

So, I filled out the 5,000 question health evaluation (you know the one--every new health professional makes you fill it out, and then when they sit down to talk with you, they proceed to ask you every question again.  Maybe the only reason they make you fill it it out is so that when they ask you the questions, you won't sit there with a blank stare on your face and say, "Uhhh, I don't remember.") But, I digress.  After she reviewed my "symptoms" with me, she concluded that I may be suffering from a mild "yeast overgrowth." Yeast overgrowth is a condition whereby a yeast species called candida albicans becomes out of balance in the GI tract. This didn't surprise me once I learned a little more about the condition. When I had my cancer surgery four years ago, preparation included the complete cleansing of my intestinal tract. Restoring it to a healthy condition was not one of the recovery goals my doctors thought would be important. Rather, I discovered the significance of gut health on my own, much later on.  So it's quite reasonable to suspect that candida organisms might have gotten the upper hand in my body. Symptoms connected to yeast overgrowth can mirror symptoms of other illnesses because candida disturbs the immune system.  So it can be hard to diagnose. But even though my original goal was to start a heavy metal detox, my naturalist nurse nutritionist recommended a 30-day yeast detox as well.

I hate decisions. Is there any reason I can't do both detox protocols at the same time? I asked. No reason.

So she gave me a bottle of capsules (take one, three times a day) and new dietary instructions-- no sugar, no milk products, no more than one serving of fruit a day (fructose, you know) and (to state the obvious) no yeast.  Apparently my expression gave away my dismay as she promptly followed up with, "There are still LOTS of foods you can eat."  Like meat and vegetables.  No, really -- there are LOTS of vegetables.

So I put on my game face, smiled and went home, ready to take responsibility for the healing process.  After all, this detox protocol was only 30 days.  We can do anything for 30 days, right?  (P.S. Dear Nurse W., what about wine?  Nurse W: Alcohol turns to sugar; you should probably avoid wine.  Bummer!)

As of this writing, I'm three weeks into the detox and results are mixed.  In some ways I'm feeling better, in some ways worse.  For example, I have a little more energy, and the circles under my eyes are beginning to fade.  But this week I developed another rash on my face.  My chiropractor says the pains in my back are connected to my liver and kidneys and are a good sign the detox is working.  Drink more water.  By the way, the heavy metal detox comes in two giant bottles.  One bottle is three capsules, three times a day; the other is three capsules twice a day.  Now factor in the other handful of vitamin/mineral supplements I normally take and... do you have any idea how much water it takes to wash down that many pills?

Three weeks into the program and my will is beginning to break down.  Yesterday, I said to Mark..."If I don't eat a serving of fruit, maybe I can substitute a glass of wine?"  He laughed at me and then pulled out the bottle and opened it up.  What an enabler!

I miss the poppy seed dressing and dried cranberries in my salads.  I miss my dark chocolate.  Fortunately, sour dough bread has no yeast in it, so at least I have something to slather my butter on.  (And, no, butter is not technically a milk product.)  Without that, I don't think I could have lasted this long.

While I support and encourage removing sugar from ones diet, an honest retrospection reveals that I don't think I could ever reduce it to zero without a very compelling reason... like impending death. I guess that makes me human.

(...can I use the "all things in moderation" argument on this one?)