Crepe Paper Collards

My husband, Mark, doesn’t care for greens.  Now when he says he “doesn’t care” for something, it means he doesn’t like it and probably won’t eat it unless he’s starving and there’s nothing else available.  With that in mind, he not only ate this collard greens dish, but said it was “okay” (translation:  really tasty, but not sure I want you to make it again especially soon just in case I’m hallucinating.)

 

Ingredients

• 1 bunch collard greens, finely julienned (see instructions below)
• 1 small leek, sliced very thin
• 3 oz. bacon, cut into pieces
• 2 Tblsp butter
• Salt & pepper to taste (use sea salt to get your trace minerals)

Preparation

Wash and trim the stems from the collard leaves.  Stack them together and roll them into a tight bunch.  Slice very thinly.  

 

In a cast iron or stainless steel frying pan or wok, sauté bacon on a medium heat until  browned but not too crispy.  Do not drain off the grease.  Add the remaining ingredients and stir frequently.  Sauté about 15 minutes, being careful not to scorch the greens (reduce heat if necessary).  This recipe makes enough for two people but can easily be adjusted for more.  Vegans can substitute the bacon and butter with ¼ cup olive oil. 

If you “don’t care” for greens because they're usually wilty, soggy, and bitter... you may like this dish.  When prepared this way, the collard greens will feel papery in texture on the fork but firm and a bit chewy to eat.   In addition, they lack the bitter metalicky taste common in spinach and chard.  

A note on the ingredients... I chose leeks over onions because Mark is sensitive to the juice of the onion, and leeks have a milder taste and no onion juice.  Be sure to rinse thoroughly as they tend to hold dirt into the stalk.  Thin-slice only the white to pale green portion for this recipe.  I've always loved bacon and I still cook with it quite a bit, but bacon is a stickler for two reasons -- first, it's typically factory meat unless you get it from a local farmer.  I can't find a local farmer who sells pork of any kind, so I'm stuck with grocery store bacon.  Secondly, bacon is typically loaded with preservatives - namely nitrates and nitrites.  Nitrates and nitrites are used in foods to prevent bacteria from growing and to give the food a longer shelf life.  From an Argonne National Laboratory fact sheet of 2005, "Nitrates themselves are relatively nontoxic. However, when swallowed, they are converted to nitrites that can react with hemoglobin in the blood, oxidizing its divalent iron to the trivalent form and creating methemoglobin. This methemoglobin cannot bind oxygen, which decreases the capacity of the blood to transport oxygen so less oxygen is transported from the lungs to the body tissues, thus causing a condition known as methemoglobinemia."  This condition is a dangerous anemia that deprives the organ tissues of oxygen.  That said, I always buy bacon that is free of nitrates and nitrites, even though it is typically more expensive (this is not a plug for Oscar Mayer, but it's the only brand I've found so far that has a nitrate/nitrite free product).  You'll want to keep it in the freezer until you're ready to use it and then use it up within a week, since there's really nothing keeping the bacteria at bay.  If you're not a bacon eater, you can sub this out with olive or coconut oil.  But don't be dismayed by the bacon grease because of its saturated fat content.  Saturated fats, despite the hue and cry to the contrary, are not -- I repeat NOT -- bad for your health when eaten in moderation.  As a matter of fact, the body requires saturated fat for cell building.  Good sources are grass-fed meat, coconut oil, and butter.