Goodbye, Mom

This week I said goodbye to my mother.  She passed away quietly in her sleep after 83 years of living for others.

My earliest memories of my mother were of practical things.  She took care of us – me and my brothers and sisters, eight children altogether.  We were well cared for.  Mom made sure we had three good meals a day, clean clothes, and a clean home.  When we got hurt, she fixed us up.  She got us up for school on time and put us to bed on a regular schedule.  She made sure we did our homework and didn’t watch too much T.V.  When we acted up and misbehaved, she handed out the discipline – usually a thoroughly deserved smack on the butt (or in that general vicinity).

Being in the Army, Dad was gone much of the time—sometimes a year or two at a time—but Mom made sure the important things were taken care of when he wasn’t home.   Sometimes the result of Mom’s practical home management was that we didn’t always feel loved.  But feeling loved and being loved are two very different things.

Though she didn’t say it often while I was a child, Mom showed her love with her actions.  It wasn’t until I became an adult that I understood fully her love for me.  Mom gave herself – the greatest gift one can give – to her children.   Did she have dreams for herself?  If so, I never knew what they were.  But I know what she wanted for ME… to love the Lord, to serve the Lord, to be happy in my life, to have my dreams come true.  These are the things we talked about when we talked.  After I became an adult (married, with children), I had a few conversations with my Mom where she shared in confidence her sorrows and sadness, but those occasions were rare.  Most of the time our conversations were focused on my life, and my problems.  She had good sound counsel for me, full of wisdom and grounded in Biblical principles.

If I could define my mother in one word, it would be “selfless.”  Others have called her “strong,” which she was.  Her strength was an inner strength buttressed by love.  Some have called her a Godly “saint,” which she was.  She wasn’t perfect, but her focus was always on the Lord. 

Mom lived a life that put everyone else’s needs before her own – and that’s how I will always remember her.  

      "She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue.  She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness.  Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her:  'Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all.'"  Proverbs 31:26-29